Being a mom is all about trial and error for me. I'm constantly using different voices, tones, evil eyes, punishments, time outs, etc etc. I've usually found the right combination for each situation 25% of the time. I told Mike yesterday that I feel like I'm batting with a .195 batting average and he's got a .350. And that's ok when we're together because we balance each other out, but when I'm alone, and Adeline's kicked the television over because I turned it off, Ben is screaming because he wants me to hold him, Morgan's screaming because she has gas, and my boobs hurt because I need to pump, my mommy brain doesn't think fast enough. It's only after the chaos that I can look at the past hour and critique myself and try to figure out a better plan of attack for next time. I made that sound a lot better than it really was. In reality I fought back tears and prayed for guidance, discernment, and forgiveness for losing my temper and spanking Adi. I know it isn't that big of a deal but I feel horrible about it. The next thing I know, I'm cuddling with Adi and painting her toenails. I guess some part of my subconscious thinks that maybe she's acting out/kicking/screaming because I'm not paying enough attention to her. I never thought that it'd be this hard to give everyone the attention they need. I need more arms, ears, well I need more mes for each kiddo. I'm also constantly asking myself if I'm doing it right, or what would the Aldermans/Napiers/Maneys/ or anyone we know with kids do?
I'm pretty sure that I will never have it all figured out, and my batting average will probably stay low, but I love my family and all u can do is pray and try again. And use pinterest to think of cute ideas for rewards, behavior charts, and discipline motivators.
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