Quartz Creek Camping

Tent camping with kids is hard!
The campground we were going to was full up, thanks to the awesome salmon fishing.
We forgot soap for our dished and we needed a canopy to go over our table since it was raining.
The second and third campgrounds we tried were full as well.
We make it to the Quartz Creek campground and the have one lonely site left, right by the road. But what other option do we have? The babies were long overdue for a meal and bed by now.
We work to put the tent up white wrangling babies who are tired and hungry and eating rocks. Then Adeline decides she's going to get out her training potty (taken for middle of the night emergencies) and poop. No she was not sheltered and yes everyone could see her, pooping, in the middle of our camp site.
Tent is up, food gets made, babies go down for bed, but it's ridiculously bright out since its almost the summer solstice, so they're screaming, a lot.
We're being eaten alive by mosquitoes the size of bats.
Bedtime
Unfortunately the site next to us had the loudest talkers on the face of the planet, and they lasted until 3 or so in the morning. Then Adeline had an accident (she's been staying dry at night and didn't think to bring pull ups)
And I'd only brought one pair of pjs for a two night stay. Soiled sleeping bag, soiled pjs, Adi shared my bag for the rest of the night. Then miraculously slept in! Only to be woken up because she peed again, in her clothes, on our air mattress in my sleeping bag. :(
Day two starts with a trip into town for pull ups. It was beautiful and sunny. We played by the lake, Kenai Lake. We sat on the warm rocks, and enjoyed the awesome beauty around us. It was a great day. Then night came, again. This time all three children were awake at 2 something. We decided after failed attempts to get everyone back to sleep that we needed to carseat them and drive everyone to sleep. By now it was 3:15am. And still light out, dawn type of light.
It worked. Mike and I took turns driving so we could sleep as well.
When we got back to the site we ate breakfast and packed up.
Dirty
Tired
And ready to try it again
Because I think we might be just a little bit crazy

Campbell Creek Trail

Our house is half a mile from the Campbell Creek Trail. Anchorage is criss-crossed by trails and greenways. If you have a bike you could literally get anywhere you want to via the tails. One day we'll have bikes. One with a double chariot stroller bike attachment and one with a mini bike for Adi attached to the back. For right now we'll take our short mile or two family walks.
Yesterday was hot. 70 degrees is scorching out here. I swear we're closer to the sun and it blazes. The warm weather brings out all of the yahoos though.
The summers here are awesome. Its only dark for about half an hour around 1am. So much sun! The babies have black out curtains but the rest of us learn to cope by burying our faces in pillows. It's also strange not having air conditioning. We just open the windows and turn on the one fan in the house.
It's honestly amazing out here.

Mind your Ma

I seriously dislike how movies and television shows depict families from the past with well behaved children. All of these kids minded their Ma and Pa. There were no temper tantrums. It's hard to believe that. But it's planted that seed. That seed that I'm doing something wrong, when really I'm pretty sure everything that's happening is just normal. Adeline is going through a phase of sorts. Case in point: yesterday we walked along Ship Creek in downtown and watched the fisherpeople. She did alright until she wanted the 'interesting sticks' that someone had set up along the bank to hold fishing poles. At this point in the river the bank had a steep drop off into the water. Adi ventured too close for comfort several times, even after talking / telling her not to. Finally moved her away from the edge only for her to have a freak out much to the disappointment of the quiet fisherpeople. Then she decided that her 'interesting sticks' should be wielded as a weapon and swatted me during her fit. Oh no. I'm utterly flabbergasted at the behavior of my child. I'm embarrassed. I'm disappointed. And I'm frustrated. Not just with Adeline but also with myself. I know that I shouldn't be upset at me. But like I said earlier, I've had that seed of doubt sown so far deep inside of my psyche that if my child misbehaves its completely my fault. Not the fact that she's tired, and 3 years old, and bored, or whatever normal thing is going on.
I've been taking part in a Soul Detox. Working on getting rid of these 'toxic thoughts'. But boy is it tough. Some have rooted so deep.
I am a good mother
I am raising my children right
My children's phases are normal for their continual growth and development
I am strong

Homer Alaska

We intended on a long Memorial Day weekend spent camping in the Homer Spit. But due to the cold, the first time camping with babies, the wind that would blow our tent into the Kachemak Bay, we stayed one night and the stooped at every cool looking campground between Homer and Anchorage keeping notes of the ones we want to visit.
I don't know how to effectively tent camp with babies and make sure they (and me) stay warm enough at night. Mike, Ben and Adeline slept wonderfully. Morgan and I didn't. The unending daylight that lasted well past 11 pm didn't help matters.
We camped with our neighbors, and honestly, I was thankful they were there. Great company, good Alaska advice, and they've got young'ins too, so Adeline had a much needed playmate.
On our way out onto the Spit (a long sandbar) we passed dozens of sea otters just floating in the ocean, and a bunch of bald eagles. I've never seen bald eagles this close before, nor have I actually heard their call. It was beyond super neat. In the morning you could see boat after boat heading out to catch fish, and listen to the waves crashing on the rocky beach. The Spit is dotted with tourist-y knick-knack shops selling everything from beads, art, coffee, and even The Deadliest Catch gear. It was cute. I wish we could have stayed longer, but it gives us an excuse to go back. Maybe stay outside of the city in Anchor Point or Clam Gulch and drive in to sightsee.

Taku Lake fishing

Today was Adeline's first time fishing. She was awesome. Aside from casting into the trees, getting wicked tangled, and nearly hooking us all several times, she had fun and is a natural. Should I be surprised? She's great and anything outdoors. That's her element. I can tell you one guy who's thing is NOT being outdoors, Ben. He hates it. Unless he's in my lap, crawling over me, pulling up on my leg or in some other way touching me. According to Mike, he's a momma's boy. Poor guy.
The babies played, well whined and cried on a blanket in the sunshine by the lake. It was perfect out. It was noon and EVERYONE was out. On their lunch breaks fishing, picnicking, biking, you name it. I loved it.
Having this in my backyard, not literally but just a few blocks away, makes me look forward to summer time in Alaska.

Anger Management

I realized that my anger, frustration, irritation, etc towards my husband, kids, the world, is pure selfishness. I'm being selfish. When something isn't going right or someone isn't acting the way I want, it's all about me, I'm bring selfish. It's not worth it, it's not worth my relationships.
I'm not saying that I've been an angry person, but things got under my skin. And I've just decided that nothing is worth those negative emotions and the nasty lingering seeds it leaves behind.

Negative Influence

I went to the grocery store today. It's a huge to-do. Pushing a double stroller, pulling a basket behind me. Always rechecking the cart to see what Adeline has added when my back was turned, always soothing fussy twins, always bumping into displays, always running over patrons with my extra long cargo. It's a mess, and I'm usually a mess when it's all said and done. I try to make it better by going early in the morning when it's less crowded, and the staff are still chipper. Not today. The "Family Friendly" lane was not so friendly, and it really bothered me today. Usually I chalk it up to these folks hating their jobs, but something was off with this one today. She was extraordinarily grouchy. Beyond grouchy, to just plain rude and mean. I knew there was an issue besides me when she barked at the woman waiting in line behind me. I bit my tongue. So many scenarios and talking points ran through my head, but none of them felt right. I could have gone the unearthly christian kindness, the sassy backtalker, the positive words of affirmation route, but none felt genuine. It's awfully scary how much your behavior, attitude, and emotions affect EVERYONE around you. I left feeling extraordinarily angry, grumbling to myself, considering running back in and giving her a piece of my mind. Truth be told, I had already had a turbulent morning with my coffee not turning out the way I wanted, then not even having the time to drink it between pumping, making breakfast, feeding babies, and dealing with a big kid who's decided to start throwing super tantrums when I can't get her what she needs right that moment. I really just wanted to be around someone who was genuinely kind. Not the fake "Well hello! My you have your hands full! Are you finding everything you need today?" that most store employees give. Instead I got this woman. She really did a number on me and I don't understand why. I shouldn't allow other people to control my day and the way I feel, but when you think about it, how many times have you been around someone who was sincere and upbeat and it made you feel better? I felt like I was just in an emotional/spiritual battle; her negativity, and my positivity. I wasn't strong enough, and my positivity broke. Think about this with your kids. They're usually a ball of energy, positive, smiley, laughing positivity. And my bad day, tired mental state, and any other blah emotions can stop them in their tracks and break them down. That thought right there kills me. Never ever do I want Adeline or Ben and Morgan to feel the way this woman made me feel. I need to take control of my emotions, have a mantra that I can repeat and recenter myself. I need to be able to bend to kindness and good things, but stand firm against the negative. Look at these kids' faces. How in the world could I be upset, angry, mad, sad, distraught, when they are here? So pure, so free.