nursing, expressing, supplementing

One week and one day into being a mom to twin late preterm babies and an almkst 3 year old.
Adi is doing great being a big sister and helper. Her clumsiness and inattentiveness can be a problem. She stumblesand falls too close to the twins, or leaps before she looks onto the couch or my lap.
My feel good hormones have a shelf life of 8-10 hours. So by late afternoon I begin to really struggle. I get sharp headaches, I'm tired, and of course I cry for no reason. This is tough.
That was all just the prologue for this post.

Everyday nursing is different. One day they will both be champions, and the next they only half eat and fuss like crazy. Today was fine until my energy/hormones dipped in the afternoon. Then the first time the don't nurse well, sip on a bottle of breast milk, but don't adequately fill their tummies, then want to nurse again but only to pacify themselves, etc etc. And since I don't have four arms, I'm trying to feed one, and the other is squirming and crying. Yes Mike is home with methis week, but unless things are going horriblywrong, I'm trying to figure out a way to manage feeding times. I've got a handle on dealing with Adiduring feeding times, but juggling the twins is tough.

My routine right now looks like this: every three hours I wake up one twin, change their diaper to help wake them up, start nursing, which lasts betwee 5 and 15 minutes, the kiddo passes out, but isn't full, I get a bottle ofexpressed breast milk, feed them some more, burm them, then repeat the process with the other twin. Once that cycle is done, I pump. I pump to help up my supply and to see how much they ate. Each kid gets one side, they just fit better on each side in that certain hold.

Once ecerything is done I have an hour and a half to two hours before it all starts again. Keep in mind I still have Adeline to keep track of, daiky household duties, and eating. Mike bought me a pack of ensure shakes to eat when I don't have time to make a meal.

This is going to be a trying first few weeks as a twin mom. I'm glad that I have a good husband who encourages me, because I'm sure I'd drown if he wasn't here.

birth story

8am September 21
I get a phone call from my doctor. She tells me that she relooked at the previous days ultrasound and cord doppler. She said that his mid cord had elevated pressure and that is most likely the reason as to why he isn't gaining weight like he should. She would like to deliver the twins via c section the next day but only after I come in for continuous monitoring. If the monitoring doesn't go well then we would deliver them today.
After I got off of the phone I had a mini breakdown and panic attack. Is this really happening!? I'm not ready! We don't have diapers, socks, hats, and all of those little things newborns need. I hastily threw together what I thought I needed in a hospital bag incase I delivered today, and threw together a bag with things for Adi to stay occupied with like stickers, coloring books, play dough and plenty of bribery snacks. And out of the door we ran. I'm pretty sure that I left a baking sheet of biscuits on the stove and an empty water pitcher on the table.
Being hooked up to fetal heart monitor for a full 24 hours is miserable. The machine would beep every time one of the kids went off of the map. That happened a lot. And it forced me to lie on my back all day and all night. My hips and back hurt so badly by the time bedtime ame around, that I was looking for excuses to get up to go to the bathroom, then linger in there. I slept for maybe 5 hours that night.

7am September 22
A barrage of nurses came into my room to prep me for the c section. Thankfully Mike and Adi had gotten there a few minutes prior. Or I wouldn't have been able to see or talk to either of them until I was out of recovery. The nurses gave me tons of information and paperwork to fill out, shaved the area around the incision, put a surgery cap and gown on me and started escorting me back to the labor and delivery ward.
The operating room was cold and white and filled with many different types of tools that scared me so much, that I had to look away. The funny thing was that when I walked in, there was a radio playing an r&b soul version of Guns&Roses' Sweet Child of Mine. My doctor came in and held my hands while the anesthesiologist prepped my back for the spinal block. I won't lie, it hurt and made me jump slightly, which immediately sent waves of doubt that she got it in tge correct spot. And I still won't lie, it felt wonderful after a painful nights sleep prior, to have half of my body numbed. I was however, one of those people whose blood pressure plummeted right after everything kicked in, and I went through a series of dry heaves. Then either from exhaustion or the medicine to make me less nauseous, I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

7:30am September 22
My surgery was promptly underway. I didn't feel a thing. There was quite te hullabaloo of people in the room though. Doctors, nurses, assistants, someone just to take pictures for me, and a lot of nicu staff.
Morgan was the first to come out. I heard several people remarks on how fat she was for being only a 35 week baby. From my position, I had a great view of the table they had put her on. She cried a strong cry almost immediately. She was perfect. Benjamin was second to come out, and as they whisked him to a table just out if my vision range, my only glimpse of him were of two super long and skinny legs. It took him a while to breathe and cry. Then they held him up for me and the nurse who was taking pictures to see. From what I'm told, after he gained his strength (only an hour or so) he was a real spitfire.
Morgan Louise was born at 7:54am weighed 5lbs 14oz and was 17 in long
Benjamin Hiram was born at 7:56am weighed 4lbs 4oz and was 16.5 in long

10am September 22
I am finally put back together and out of the recovery room. Morgan,Mike, and Adi are waiting for me in the mother & baby room. I'll be here until I'm discharged. Benjamin joined us around 11:30. They kept him in the nicu to check his blood glucose levels and because he was having a tough time keeping his temperature up. He is tiny and precious.

I'm so proud of my family. They are all perfect.

Two Weeks!?

I'm 35 weeks and 3 days today. I had an ultrasound at 8am. Usually this ultrasound technician is fast at what he does, and I'min and out in 30 minutes. He's really good. But today and just over an hour. After he found their weights, girl 6lbs 4 oz, and boy 4lbs 4oz,he decided to do a cord doppler. This was used to measure the blood flow from the placenta into the cord, the flow in the middle of the cord, from the cord into thebaby, and the mid cranial artery. The girl's vitals looked alright, but we couldn't see anything for the boy. He was just in an awkward position.
Since boy has been slowly falling behind in weight (he's still gaining, just not as quickly) that's when my doctor decided to schedule a c-section. She wants to make sure that he isn't being put in a compromising situationin case he isn't getting adequate blood flow.
She said that she had to talk to a perinatologist and tell them her plan for me and her reasons why, but that regardless of what they say, this is her plan. Non stress test this Friday, next Tuesday ultrasound to do another cord doppler, non stress test and follow up appointment, next Friday non stress test, and then...that next Tuesday delivery!

Supporting the community

With fall creeping in, the birch trees are turning a vibrant yellow, the snow is capping the mountains, and the wind is becoming more and more blustery. It's the wind that made me finally pull the trigger and buy a hat. I could have gone the easy way and just gotten one at the store, but I've come across a few different ladies selling crocheted hats and other neat things on craigslist. I've tried starting conversations with them (maybe as a hope that they will fill the creative crocheting friend void that I left in North Carolina). They've all ignored my emails of compliments on their handiwork except for one. I have never had a cute hat, or even thought of myself as being a cute hat type of person, but I thought that I would give it a try. I met with the girl who makes the hats just outside of Elmendorf AFB, she's a military wife/mom with a kiddo Adi's age, and super nice to boot. You've made a wonderful impression in my book when your first words upon meeting me are, "You are so cute pregnant!" She had a basket full of hats with flowers, slouchy hats, and ear warmers. The ear warmers were super cute, but I knew that I realistically needed something to keep my head warm, not just fashionable. So we let our kids play for a while as I looked through her things, which was nice for Adi. I love watching Adeline play with other kids. She is so outgoing and social it's ridiculous.
So I planned to meet her a few days later on my way home from my biweekly non stress tests. The hospital is just one exit down from the AFB. Adi and I got there a few minutes before she did so we took that as an opportunity to play around the jet parked outside. She loved it. And of course I loved watching her dance under the airplane. When the lady got there, she didn't have change, so instead of finding a way to give me my change, she just gave my two minky burp cloths, one pink and one blue for the twins. Super neat.
It was awesome to connect with people in the community here. I'll admit, I have felt a bit like an outsider when it came to hanging out with some of the stay at home moms in town, since the vast majority of them are military. I don't know what it is, it's just a completely different life and community. But this was my way of sharing a peace pipe between myself and the military community. You wouldn't think that I would have a problem with this, since I grew up on an air force base, but I don't belong to their inner circle of deployments, commissaries, and lingo.
To come full circle back to the beginning. When I emailed her I asked her if she sold any of her stuff in local shops. She told me that she did not, then. When I went to pick up the hat she told me that she was on her way to Sweet Adeline's (I know right!) to set up a table to sell her things there.
It's the little things, the friendly encounters, and the cute crocheted hats that remind of good friends.