Doctor's visit

It's minus 8, the car hasn't warmed up, I've failed once again to bundle everyone up enough, including myself. This weather is taking some getting used to. I need those hats with the earflaps, and a car with an auto start that actually works.
Adi equipped each baby with an Alaskan baby stuffed animal in their car seat. Ben got the sea otter and Morgan got the orca. It seemed fitting for their personalities. And I was hopeful that thus kind gesture on behalf if Adi would mean an easy going, uneventful appointment.
There have been worse appointments. I'm just thankful that this is a small office with the same few nurses and doctors. It's really difficult to have a hand on Adi when I've got both of mine on the twins. I even bribed Adi with watching shows on my tablet if she could be good. But when we all had to leave the room to weight the twins, Adi had to tag along, until she remembered that the tablet was still in the room. She took off down the hallway as every doctor and nursed watched. I was helpless and embarrassed. She came running back with the tablet and then decided she wanted to take it back. So again, my daughter is running at full speed through the doctor's office. I tried to save face by commenting, loud enough for all onlookers to hear, that I sometimes wish that I had a toddler harness for her. Thankfully our doctor has a good sense of humor and told me that he'd just stick his leg out and knock her down the next time she ran through.
He's a great Alaska frontiersman style doctor. Hilarious and practical. Almost all of his medical recommendations involve either ignoring it, or putting Vaseline or lotion on it.
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Ben and Morgan are healthy and growing. Doc recommended putting a tsp of cereal in their bottles to help with their spit up. Which everyone in the office got to experience full force. He also commented on Ben's fat pouch, poor guy. But despite being 'premature' they are hitting all if the normal milestones plus some, and their hovering around the 15-25% in everything. I couldn't ask for better.
I've got two super healthy babies, an energetic preschooler, and enough coffee to keep me sane, most days. That's why this morning, the morning after the Doctor's visit and shots, with two babies with fevers who woke up every hour and a half and a three year old who's taken to crying/talking/arguing in her sleep, I'm still pretty thankful.

Terrible threes

The terrible twos have nothing on the tantrums that a three year old can throw. They're bigger, stronger, and more articulate, making their tantrums an extraordinary sight. They are crafting their manipulation, testing boundaries, and exploring the limitations of their vocal chords.
It's embarrassing and disheartening. It makes you question your ability to be a mother. Have I been too lenient?Too strict? Have I said all of the wrong things?
I start making a list of every bad parenting move I've made and of every change that I will enact from here on out. I should know that she's three, that I've done everything a good mom should do, said all of the right things, with only a few mistakes (which is normal).
It's difficult not to notice every parent and child in the store (when these tantrums happen in public). They're children seem so calm, peaceful, and well-behaved as I hurriedly push the double stroller and pull the cart it the three year old to the nearest exit.
On the long car ride home I can't help but wonder if all of this screaming will negatively affect the twins. Do they hear and understand and feel the stress and panic?
Once we're home, she goes to her room and we remove the most precious of toys. But it boggles my mind how quickly everything is forgotten. Within minutes she's back to normal, playing, laughing, and hugging her poor mother.
I want to be like that. Forgetting the rotten things, moving on, and genuinely returning to love like nothing ever happened.
In the end I find out she's not feeling well. I should have known. Her cheeks were red (usually a sign for Adi), and she didn't eat one bite if breakfast or lunch, and now I come to find that she's fallen asleep.
I need a clear discernment as a mom. To see the cues and head things off at the pass, and return to love just as quickly as a child.

Talkeetna Road Trip

Saturday was set to be beautiful, cold, bitterly cold, but sunny and gorgeous. Talkeetna, AK is about 3 hours north of us, heading straight for Denali. The views were impeccable, but my iPhone camera couldn't capture its magnificence. All three kiddos were feeling sick, so a long car ride (nap), and some sunshine was going to be good medicine.


This was the coldest temperature on our trip, it usually hung around the -20's, but there isn't much difference once you get into the negatives, it's all just cold. Hurt your body cold.


This is the Mid January Alaskan sun at high noon. This is why any sunny days are super special.


So much heavy snow. We've gotten over 70 inches so far this winter. I never thought I could get used to this, especially coming from Texas and North Carolina. But I did, and I am, and it really isn't that bad. You learn to drive in it, and dress warmly. Which I still haven't mastered. I need more layering clothes I think.


Adi is a total snow bunny. She loves it, and isn't phased what so ever by the cold. -20 and happy as a clam.

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We saw this hitchhiker, totally bundled, on our way up and on our way back home. Talkeetna is a haven for the wanderer. When we were in Talkeetna we saw several bearded backpacked frosted men.


Mountain High Pizza Pie. Super hippy, Buddhist, good pizza.


Mountain High Pizza Pie's bathroom.


Two PM sun on our way back home, somewhere around Willow or Houston, AK.

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With the Iditarod only a few months away, and tons of great snow, we're starting to see dog sled teams driving around town. This one came all of the way up from Colorado.


Ben and Morgan, stayed bundled in the car, with the occasional mama hopping over the seat to feed them. They're such troopers, but it always seems to throw them off schedule. Last night proved that night. Every hour and a half. But by they time I got up, they were still sleeping and I was able to enjoy a cup of coffee without a baby or two screaming in my face.

This week at the bear cave

I only made it to the Y three times this week. My goal is five days. I need that break, Adi needs the social interactions, I need the shower and workout, and the babies need to experience other people besides me and Adi.
I took Tuesday off because of an awful nights sleep thanks to one twin, who will remain nameless, and I took Thursday off because of an intense weight training day at the Y. I found out that the class I've been going to us called Morning Core. Man is it core, hardcore! That wasn't funny was it? This mama bear not only isn't funny, but has never done any weight training. I didn't know what half of the activities were called but they involved the bar from a bench press and me doing some crazy Olympic weightlifting moves, mixed in with push ups and hanging ab crunches. So of course I could barely move the next day, but I was totally proud of myself for keeping up.
I knew that taking the day off would make Fridays workout much more difficult. And it was. Fridays are geared towards conditioning, so I ran, lunged, medicine ball tossed, you name it.
All of this is for my kids. I am less and less concerned about myself selfishly, but more concerned about my health and strength, so that I can be the best me for Adi, Ben, and Morgan. They deserve a mom who can keep up, play, and carry them all around at once.

Last night we all went to a coworkers of Mikes house for a late Christmas party. I don't know how many other moms do this, but I obsess over bedtime routines. Going out with everyone meant going way off of schedule, and going way off of schedule means a night of me up with sleepless babies.
It was worth it though, to have some adult conversation for a few hours. I do admit to petering out around 830. I was invited back for a girls accessory swap later next week. Super cool. I wish I had more accessories to swap.

Right now I'm wearing a super unflattering but super warm/fuzzy/comfy pullover as I wait for the next snowstorm to blow in adding another 4-7 inches to the ground.
Oh Alaska I'm still getting used to you, but I'm excited to see where our relationship goes to next.