On a night where I get an hour of sleep(if that) at a time between feeding, crying, and shadow monsters, I end up hitting the exhaustion wall around 2 in the afternoon. My head feels like its in a vice, I can't see or think straight, and I don't want to be touched, which is quite difficult when you have three kids in a tiny apartment.
But something amazing happened once I got through that wall yesterday. I had some wonderful peace, and an odd desire to move even farther out of the city, live even simpler, homeschool, and not got back to work.
I felt extremely lucid and clear.
Why did I want all of those things? Most of you know that I've never had a desire for any of those things. That's why I was so taken aback at these thoughts and even moreso, how calm and to the point I felt about them. Could it have been the exhaustion? Possibly. But I didn't want to discount any of these new feelings.
I'm interestingly drawn to that simple homesteader and even Amish lifestyle. There's so much peace and clarity. No more hustle and bustle, no more social status quos. And it allows me to fully focus on my family and my heart.
One day maybe I'll make it there. Well 100 percent actually there. And until then I can homeschool, and I can escape into the Alaskan wilderness.
Who knows what I really have in store. If any of those things are really what I'm meant to do. I'll settle for peace and daydreams for now.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wake up call
I have good nights and no so good nights. Last night Ben and Morgan fought going to sleep. Woke up at midnight, ate, woke up at two, ate, woke up at four, wide awake. Adeline also woke up at two, but I managed to get her back to sleep, and woke up at just before five after hearing the ruckus both babies were putting on.
Not much sleep, extremely tired. Easily frustrated.
I needed to pump. There were crying fits from all three, a choking/gagging episode from Morgan , and a nasty poop explosion from Ben.
This was all well at six.
The kitchen is a mess from last nights chili that I didn't clean, and my husband is still sleeping. Lucky dog.
Through my numerous face palms and stressful sighs, I've got a big girl who asked to be dismissed from the table, a little girl who won't stop smiling and a little boy who is talking up a storm. Its hard to stay mad at these guys.
Not much sleep, extremely tired. Easily frustrated.
I needed to pump. There were crying fits from all three, a choking/gagging episode from Morgan , and a nasty poop explosion from Ben.
This was all well at six.
The kitchen is a mess from last nights chili that I didn't clean, and my husband is still sleeping. Lucky dog.
Through my numerous face palms and stressful sighs, I've got a big girl who asked to be dismissed from the table, a little girl who won't stop smiling and a little boy who is talking up a storm. Its hard to stay mad at these guys.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Santa's Cookies
We made cookies for santa. My special peanut butter cookies, and a few with added chocolate chips, just in case santa likes variety.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Gym schedule
After a day of mike being home for Christmas break, he expressed the need for a schedule for the twins. Maybe he wasn't used to the chaos that I've been living in, but in the end, he was right(like always). So I paid more attention to their sleeping and eating patterns and kept better records of each on my handy baby log app. I also did some research, since I remember nothing from Adeline and really mike was the one who was with her. I knew they needed a morning, afternoon, and evening nap. But with twins how? I mean trying to get two babies on the exact same schedule seemed ludicrous to me. If other twin moms had done it, then I could too.
We got a YMCA membership. Well as mike put it, he got it for me for Christmas. As a post twin mom, I ended up taking his gesture personally. He cited that it was really to give me two uninterrupted hours if peace(they have a free child watch for members).
Since mike's been home, and the sun doesn't come up until the ten o'clock hour, we've been going every morning. This has helped tremendously in more ways than one. First, I get to exercise and lose this belly. Second, I get to shower in peace, even though it's with many naked old ladies, that's a post for another time. And third, the twins get a schedule. Oh and Adi gets to play with other kids.
It's been great, really. I've loved it. I've felt so good exercising, and getting a little bit of quiet time. It's honestly done wonders for my sanity. But just like a mom, I can't be too selfish, and it all comes back to my kids, and how the things that I do benefit them.
In other news, I've been miscalculating the twins' monthly birthdays, and today, the winter solstice is their three month birthday.
We got a YMCA membership. Well as mike put it, he got it for me for Christmas. As a post twin mom, I ended up taking his gesture personally. He cited that it was really to give me two uninterrupted hours if peace(they have a free child watch for members).
Since mike's been home, and the sun doesn't come up until the ten o'clock hour, we've been going every morning. This has helped tremendously in more ways than one. First, I get to exercise and lose this belly. Second, I get to shower in peace, even though it's with many naked old ladies, that's a post for another time. And third, the twins get a schedule. Oh and Adi gets to play with other kids.
It's been great, really. I've loved it. I've felt so good exercising, and getting a little bit of quiet time. It's honestly done wonders for my sanity. But just like a mom, I can't be too selfish, and it all comes back to my kids, and how the things that I do benefit them.
In other news, I've been miscalculating the twins' monthly birthdays, and today, the winter solstice is their three month birthday.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Craft time
Today I dedicated the 8 o'clock hour to school/art time with Adeline. Both babies were happily napping and I knew Adi desperately needed some one on one mama time. Did you catch that? That the twins were napping, at 8am? Meaning they had been up for the morning already? At, guess what time? 5am. Rough.
Today we made a Christmas wreath out of handprints. I had a brief moment feeling like a school teacher again. I miss it definitely, and I need to use those feelings to have school and art time with Adeline. I know that we both need/enjoy it.
After I traced her hands, I let her practice using her kid scissors. Yes they are totally NOT safety scissors. While I cut out her hands, she cut along some straight lines. She did pretty good at first, then she just wanted to cut the paper to shreds, ignoring the lines. I honestly just want her to practice patience and fine motor skills. That's also why I had her dot the glue for the wreath. Patience and fine motor skills. Then I cut a pretty red now and Adi put glitter glue on the wreath to finish it.
Then I started thinking, do I really need an expensive preschool homeschooling curriculum? I've been selling my maternity clothes and the twins' newborn clothes on Craigslist to save up for a homeschool kit. That way it really tests wether or not I really want or need it, especially if it takes a while to get the funds. My conclusion after a few weeks? I don't NEED it. Yes it would be neat, cool, and handy, but I am my own best resource. I can't forget that my teaching certification is for Pre-K through 6th. Pre-K, that's roughly where Adi is. I can do this myself. Stock up on materials and ink cartridges, though I'm hoping to not print things out much if at all.
Now I may just be feeling good and riding on the high of a tantrum and cry free morning, but I really want to start something with Adeline.
I'll start small and dedicate one hour for just she and I to work on stuff. And we'll take it from there.
Today we made a Christmas wreath out of handprints. I had a brief moment feeling like a school teacher again. I miss it definitely, and I need to use those feelings to have school and art time with Adeline. I know that we both need/enjoy it.
After I traced her hands, I let her practice using her kid scissors. Yes they are totally NOT safety scissors. While I cut out her hands, she cut along some straight lines. She did pretty good at first, then she just wanted to cut the paper to shreds, ignoring the lines. I honestly just want her to practice patience and fine motor skills. That's also why I had her dot the glue for the wreath. Patience and fine motor skills. Then I cut a pretty red now and Adi put glitter glue on the wreath to finish it.
Then I started thinking, do I really need an expensive preschool homeschooling curriculum? I've been selling my maternity clothes and the twins' newborn clothes on Craigslist to save up for a homeschool kit. That way it really tests wether or not I really want or need it, especially if it takes a while to get the funds. My conclusion after a few weeks? I don't NEED it. Yes it would be neat, cool, and handy, but I am my own best resource. I can't forget that my teaching certification is for Pre-K through 6th. Pre-K, that's roughly where Adi is. I can do this myself. Stock up on materials and ink cartridges, though I'm hoping to not print things out much if at all.
Now I may just be feeling good and riding on the high of a tantrum and cry free morning, but I really want to start something with Adeline.
I'll start small and dedicate one hour for just she and I to work on stuff. And we'll take it from there.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Dentist
Today was Adeline's first visit to the dentist. We've been going over what it would be like for days now so I thought she'd do great.
Boy was I wrong.
She was a spaz from the moment we walked in the door, which she usually is whenever she goes someplace new. Right about now I'm engineering my escape plan.
In addition to the anxiety currently flowing through my body, every staff member asked me about the baby I was carrying. They didn't notice the one on my back. So when I moved or turned around, they'd exclaim 'oh you have two'. Yep. But here's the kicker, they would then tell me to do it again, like a magic trick, make a second baby appear on my back. Really people? Do it again?
Back to the dentist story.
Boy was I wrong.
She was a spaz from the moment we walked in the door, which she usually is whenever she goes someplace new. Right about now I'm engineering my escape plan.
In addition to the anxiety currently flowing through my body, every staff member asked me about the baby I was carrying. They didn't notice the one on my back. So when I moved or turned around, they'd exclaim 'oh you have two'. Yep. But here's the kicker, they would then tell me to do it again, like a magic trick, make a second baby appear on my back. Really people? Do it again?
Back to the dentist story.
The exam room was underwater themed, super cute with beaded jellyfish hanging from the ceiling. Adi starts looking nervous around this time. But I'm holding out hope that she can pull through.
The dental assistant, bless her heart, probably does not get paid enough to deal with children like Adi.
The dental assistant, bless her heart, probably does not get paid enough to deal with children like Adi.
The first thing that they needed were X-rays of her teeth. Boy oh boy, that was a hot mess. A lot of crying and screaming. She was scared, I understand. I hated it too. It hurt my tongue and made me gag. After several minutes of trying to coax her into doing the X-rays, we gave up. But when she saw that the dental assistant was putting her chair back down ( she loved riding the chair up) she started screaming again and said she'd try to do the X-rays.
Part one done.
Next came the teeth cleaning. Adi did great. I was super thankful that she cooperated. This was the Adeline I was hoping to see at the dentist office. Even when the actual dentist cane in, she did great. She did bite her fingers several times though.
Adi didn't like the 'vitamins' she brushed on at the end. I don't remember ever having gooey vitamins smeared on my teeth. It was supposed to taste like watermelon. We found out pretty quickly that either it didn't taste good or Adi doesn't like watermelon, because once she hopped off of the chair, she spit all over the floor. I guess I need to work on teaching Adeline proper etiquette.
After everything the dentist gave me a lecture on the foods Adi eats, particularly pretzels and crackers, since they breakdown into sugar. Thank you mam. I know not to take it personally, but those with kids know how hard it is to get them to eat anything.
Anywho.
Adi's teeth looked good. Great spacing, no cavities, her permanent teeth are developing well, but she has a 'cross bite'. On the right side of her mouth, her teeth fit on top of each other perfectly, with the top teeth slightly over the bottom. But the left side had the bottom teeth over the top. Does that make sense? Poor thing. The dentist said that if it didn't right itself (once permanent teeth come in) that she would need a pallet expander and that she has a 66 percent chance of needing braces too.
It was a stressful stressful visit, but much needed.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
iPhone Post
Since its much easier to take pictures with my phone than my tablet, and I found this handy blogger app, hopefully I will be able to post pictures with ease.
This will basically be a test post, not much real meat.
A friend of mine posted an article about free range parenting on Facebook yesterday. I realize that I say no way too often, and it's usually over little things that really won't harm anything. So I decided to let go. Yes Adi, you can wear my shoes around the house, yes you can play on the pantry, yes you can 'sweep', yes you can scrub the sink, yes you can take all of the canned goods out of the pantry and stack them on the table, and yes you can play under the table with your Papa's gym bag.
Hopefully Mike will jump on board. Yes it makes things a little messy, but that just opens up an opportunity to teach Adi to clean up after herself. And really the big idea is to allow her imagination to really take off, and become more independent.
This whole parenting thing really is a learn as you go kind of thing isn't it?
This will basically be a test post, not much real meat.
A friend of mine posted an article about free range parenting on Facebook yesterday. I realize that I say no way too often, and it's usually over little things that really won't harm anything. So I decided to let go. Yes Adi, you can wear my shoes around the house, yes you can play on the pantry, yes you can 'sweep', yes you can scrub the sink, yes you can take all of the canned goods out of the pantry and stack them on the table, and yes you can play under the table with your Papa's gym bag.
Hopefully Mike will jump on board. Yes it makes things a little messy, but that just opens up an opportunity to teach Adi to clean up after herself. And really the big idea is to allow her imagination to really take off, and become more independent.
This whole parenting thing really is a learn as you go kind of thing isn't it?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
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