birth story

8am September 21
I get a phone call from my doctor. She tells me that she relooked at the previous days ultrasound and cord doppler. She said that his mid cord had elevated pressure and that is most likely the reason as to why he isn't gaining weight like he should. She would like to deliver the twins via c section the next day but only after I come in for continuous monitoring. If the monitoring doesn't go well then we would deliver them today.
After I got off of the phone I had a mini breakdown and panic attack. Is this really happening!? I'm not ready! We don't have diapers, socks, hats, and all of those little things newborns need. I hastily threw together what I thought I needed in a hospital bag incase I delivered today, and threw together a bag with things for Adi to stay occupied with like stickers, coloring books, play dough and plenty of bribery snacks. And out of the door we ran. I'm pretty sure that I left a baking sheet of biscuits on the stove and an empty water pitcher on the table.
Being hooked up to fetal heart monitor for a full 24 hours is miserable. The machine would beep every time one of the kids went off of the map. That happened a lot. And it forced me to lie on my back all day and all night. My hips and back hurt so badly by the time bedtime ame around, that I was looking for excuses to get up to go to the bathroom, then linger in there. I slept for maybe 5 hours that night.

7am September 22
A barrage of nurses came into my room to prep me for the c section. Thankfully Mike and Adi had gotten there a few minutes prior. Or I wouldn't have been able to see or talk to either of them until I was out of recovery. The nurses gave me tons of information and paperwork to fill out, shaved the area around the incision, put a surgery cap and gown on me and started escorting me back to the labor and delivery ward.
The operating room was cold and white and filled with many different types of tools that scared me so much, that I had to look away. The funny thing was that when I walked in, there was a radio playing an r&b soul version of Guns&Roses' Sweet Child of Mine. My doctor came in and held my hands while the anesthesiologist prepped my back for the spinal block. I won't lie, it hurt and made me jump slightly, which immediately sent waves of doubt that she got it in tge correct spot. And I still won't lie, it felt wonderful after a painful nights sleep prior, to have half of my body numbed. I was however, one of those people whose blood pressure plummeted right after everything kicked in, and I went through a series of dry heaves. Then either from exhaustion or the medicine to make me less nauseous, I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

7:30am September 22
My surgery was promptly underway. I didn't feel a thing. There was quite te hullabaloo of people in the room though. Doctors, nurses, assistants, someone just to take pictures for me, and a lot of nicu staff.
Morgan was the first to come out. I heard several people remarks on how fat she was for being only a 35 week baby. From my position, I had a great view of the table they had put her on. She cried a strong cry almost immediately. She was perfect. Benjamin was second to come out, and as they whisked him to a table just out if my vision range, my only glimpse of him were of two super long and skinny legs. It took him a while to breathe and cry. Then they held him up for me and the nurse who was taking pictures to see. From what I'm told, after he gained his strength (only an hour or so) he was a real spitfire.
Morgan Louise was born at 7:54am weighed 5lbs 14oz and was 17 in long
Benjamin Hiram was born at 7:56am weighed 4lbs 4oz and was 16.5 in long

10am September 22
I am finally put back together and out of the recovery room. Morgan,Mike, and Adi are waiting for me in the mother & baby room. I'll be here until I'm discharged. Benjamin joined us around 11:30. They kept him in the nicu to check his blood glucose levels and because he was having a tough time keeping his temperature up. He is tiny and precious.

I'm so proud of my family. They are all perfect.

Two Weeks!?

I'm 35 weeks and 3 days today. I had an ultrasound at 8am. Usually this ultrasound technician is fast at what he does, and I'min and out in 30 minutes. He's really good. But today and just over an hour. After he found their weights, girl 6lbs 4 oz, and boy 4lbs 4oz,he decided to do a cord doppler. This was used to measure the blood flow from the placenta into the cord, the flow in the middle of the cord, from the cord into thebaby, and the mid cranial artery. The girl's vitals looked alright, but we couldn't see anything for the boy. He was just in an awkward position.
Since boy has been slowly falling behind in weight (he's still gaining, just not as quickly) that's when my doctor decided to schedule a c-section. She wants to make sure that he isn't being put in a compromising situationin case he isn't getting adequate blood flow.
She said that she had to talk to a perinatologist and tell them her plan for me and her reasons why, but that regardless of what they say, this is her plan. Non stress test this Friday, next Tuesday ultrasound to do another cord doppler, non stress test and follow up appointment, next Friday non stress test, and then...that next Tuesday delivery!

Supporting the community

With fall creeping in, the birch trees are turning a vibrant yellow, the snow is capping the mountains, and the wind is becoming more and more blustery. It's the wind that made me finally pull the trigger and buy a hat. I could have gone the easy way and just gotten one at the store, but I've come across a few different ladies selling crocheted hats and other neat things on craigslist. I've tried starting conversations with them (maybe as a hope that they will fill the creative crocheting friend void that I left in North Carolina). They've all ignored my emails of compliments on their handiwork except for one. I have never had a cute hat, or even thought of myself as being a cute hat type of person, but I thought that I would give it a try. I met with the girl who makes the hats just outside of Elmendorf AFB, she's a military wife/mom with a kiddo Adi's age, and super nice to boot. You've made a wonderful impression in my book when your first words upon meeting me are, "You are so cute pregnant!" She had a basket full of hats with flowers, slouchy hats, and ear warmers. The ear warmers were super cute, but I knew that I realistically needed something to keep my head warm, not just fashionable. So we let our kids play for a while as I looked through her things, which was nice for Adi. I love watching Adeline play with other kids. She is so outgoing and social it's ridiculous.
So I planned to meet her a few days later on my way home from my biweekly non stress tests. The hospital is just one exit down from the AFB. Adi and I got there a few minutes before she did so we took that as an opportunity to play around the jet parked outside. She loved it. And of course I loved watching her dance under the airplane. When the lady got there, she didn't have change, so instead of finding a way to give me my change, she just gave my two minky burp cloths, one pink and one blue for the twins. Super neat.
It was awesome to connect with people in the community here. I'll admit, I have felt a bit like an outsider when it came to hanging out with some of the stay at home moms in town, since the vast majority of them are military. I don't know what it is, it's just a completely different life and community. But this was my way of sharing a peace pipe between myself and the military community. You wouldn't think that I would have a problem with this, since I grew up on an air force base, but I don't belong to their inner circle of deployments, commissaries, and lingo.
To come full circle back to the beginning. When I emailed her I asked her if she sold any of her stuff in local shops. She told me that she did not, then. When I went to pick up the hat she told me that she was on her way to Sweet Adeline's (I know right!) to set up a table to sell her things there.
It's the little things, the friendly encounters, and the cute crocheted hats that remind of good friends.

Rooms

Today was supposed to be the appointment day from hades. I was scheduled for an ultrasound at 7am, a non stress test at 9:20, and a doctors appointment at 11. I had Adi's emergency bag ready. Playdough, crayons, books, snacks, and my tablet loaded with Dora and Yo Gabba Gabba episodes. The ultrasound was finished at 7:35, and the thought of waiting around in between this and the other appointments scared me. Well the good lord showed me some mercy today, because I was squeezed in to the non stress test and my doctors appointment and was done for the day at 9am.

The ultrasound revealed that girl is still breech and weighs 4 pounds 9 ounces and boy is head down and 3 pounds 13 ounces. Their heartbeats are great too. No more to say about the boy's kidney. Nothing has changed there. I'm 32 weeks and change, and my belly is measuring at 35 weeks. I havent gained any weight in two weeks, despite my recent ice cream intake. I'm having mild swelling, but I don't notice it unless I wear socks. All in all, we're all hanging in there and doing great. Oh the doc did say that if (this is a big if because my cervix is still long) I go into labor after 34 weeks, they won't do anything to stop me. That is a scary thought. It's less than two weeks away.

We're almost ready for the twins. We have the carseats, and now the cribs. No mattresses yet or blankets. So we're getting there. Not quite all the way there yet, but we're making progress. It's just hard to see a half empty room and imagine two tiny babies living in it.

I'm still in shock. I will have two babies, plus a toddler. Who, by the way, refused to leave the house without her blanket and paci, even with me bribing her with m&ms.

Last weeks random twins pregnancy food craving - prunes
This weeks random twins pregnancy food craving - brown sugar pop tarts

State Fair

Went to the Alaska State Fair today. Well the sun is out now, now that we're done with the fair experience. But our time there was spent in a cloudy, cold, and windy environment. Layers do wonders out here, as well as a water and wind proof jacket. I was fairly warm, except formy hand and nose. I alsoneed to save the hood for rainy days, and get a sweet hat for cold and windy days. You can't really find an all weather maternity jacket easily, so hopefully my XXL all weather jacket (not maternity) will hold up for a little while longer. I noticed the belly region losing spacetoday.

Pregnancy wise, I did great today running around the fairgrounds. I only had a few contractions, ate a halibut taco (it was alright), and wasn't nauseated by the barnyard smells.

Stress wise, I did better than I expected. When you go to the state fair on the first Saturday of the season, it is going to be crowded. I don't usuallydo well in large crowd situations, add on top of that pushing a stroller, and being super pregnant, oh and I had to pee really badly and all I could see were portapotties with long lines. So the first 15 minutes or so were stressful as I assessed the crowds and looked for a decent restroom. But once tbat was achieved I was able to relax. There were millions of booths with everything from fair food to ridiculous t shirts to energy conservation to crafts to larping swords. Yes larping (live action role playing) swords.

Adi loved watching the carnival rides. She really wanted to ride them herself and didn't really understand why I wasn't letting her. And then threw a huge fit when we tried to leave that area.

We found a building with Australian animals. We saw a kangaroo, kookabura, emu, and pelicans. I've always loved pelicans,bt Inever knew how absolutely huge they were! Then we foundthe building with the judged baked goods. Rows and rows of cookies, cakes, and breads, all divided into age groups. It looked amazing. Oh and speaking of amazing baked goods, I made a black forest cake with cherry filling and a chocolate ganache topping for Mike's birthday. And yes, it would have won a ribbon, honorable mention at least.

We caught the very end of the chili cook off. Miss Alaska welcomed us into this event. Honestly, I was disappointed. Though I only tried one, I knew what each contestant was going for. They were looking to make the spiciest chili imaginable. That's not the point of chili. It's about the flavors. It made me want to make up my batch of chili. But I haveto wait until it gets a little colder.

Then we made it to the farm exhibit. I think this was all of our favorite exhibit. Mike loved the judged produce. There was a pumpkin as big around as the width of a car. There were cabbages that rivaled The Little Shop of Horrors creature. And rows and rown upon berries. There were also judged flowers. My favorite were the dahlias. I just imagined the gardens they came out of and thecare each person tookin choosing the one flower tbey would present. Adi's favorite were the chickens and roosters. She laughed hysterically each time one crowed. The judging for these went on earlier,so we sought out the placed and best in show fowl. There were also rabbits and ducks as well. Out in the main farm area were the larger farm animals. We saw a sow (she was massive) and her piglets, sheep, lambs, goats, and cows.

If you ask me, this is what a state fair is supposed to be like. I had a blast. I wish it was less crowded, that the weather was milder, and that I was less pregnant, but overall, I loved the entire day.

super pregnant woman

I've been on a bit of a frenzy. So much stuff to take care of and so little time. Driver's licenses, titles, registrations, oil changes (those are the magazines from the oil change shop in the picture), car seats, cribs, cleaning, library cards, you name it, I've been doing it. Almost over doing it. Today I woke up with a wicked sore throat. Could have been caused by taking my jacket off while outside trying to get three carseats in the back of the explorer. I had worked up a sweat and the sun was out, so it didn't feel like 53 degrees.
Out of everything that I've been taking care of, laundry has fallen by the wayside. I had seriously taken for granted having our own washer and dryer. Now I share with three other families, and I have to make sure I have a steady supply of quarters. The days just go by too fast and the next thing I know the laundry is as tall as Adi.
Despite feeling cruddy, a mommy never has time off. And the nesting hasn't waned. So how did I spend my morning after having a warm bowl of oatmeal? I played school with Adi, we're working on writing the letter A and tracing lines did the dishes, nd began cleaning the mini blinds in the kitchen. The person who lived here before us never cleaned. Who knew that mini blinds could become so disgusting.

bbdisgusting.

please act older

Like it when my two year old doesn't act like a two year old. It happens sometimes. I had a brief glimpse of it yesterday, but not at the times when I most needed it.

I'm a stickler for getting driver's licenses updated or changed. Not sure why. But I went in to get my official Alaskan driver's license. It was maybe 9:30. Though nothing in this town opens before 10. Honestly that doesn't make sense to me. But I'm learning to roll with it. So we finally make it in. I have everything I need, or so I thought. I fill out an application, and thebentire time, Adi is a full blown two year old. Running into every one's way, jumping on every chair, and repeatedly hitting the 'take a number' machine. I finally make it up to the counter, only to realize that I didn't bring my social security card. While I'm talking with the woman at the counter, I have a hand on Adi who is going completely limp and swinging and laughing hysterically. The woman at the counter the said "just come back with everything, and you can take the test, and maybe you can find someone to leave the monkey with." Yes she was trying to be funny, but she had no idea how bad that made me feel. I don't know anyone here. It felt lonely. I know we'll get plugged into a great community soon, but right now it's pretty isolating. I ignore her advice and come back with the monkey.

On the ride home I let Adi have it. She responds to the phrase "you are not being a good listener", probably because she knows that good listeners get special treats and especially a paci. She said in a big girl voice, "momma, I'm sorry". Oh man that tugged at me just a bit. Then we had a conversation like she wasn't a two year old. It was nice. She promised to be a good listener and we would go back and try again.

I show up back at the dmv, and thank goodness, it's completely empty. Yes God had mercy on me. Unfortunately, I still failed the test, but one question. So I'll go back in 24 hours and try again. I'll go back with my monkey and pray that she acts older than she really is, for my sanity and the dmv workers'.


In twin gestation news, my second round of NSTs went well. I'm afraid that girl flipped. I'm pretty sure I felt it, or a massive roll. But now ALL movement is down low, meaning feet? I have no idea, I'm just along for the ride.

I do wish that I ate better for these two. That's why, well not only that, but that's why I have a WIC appointment today. Any help that we can get right now, still one income and three children, in Alaska, with high food prices, I'll take. To be honest, my pride does get the best of me when it comes to government assistance. But it's not just about me, it's about Adi and the twins.